DickSquishies:The BEST new LOL toys and my hilarious journey to find them

The funniest and best new products that will make you LOL

I was sitting at home this morning contemplating life, well not all of life, but the part of life where I get bored easily. Usually mature people will find something constructive to do in those moments, perhaps some household chores, or get a head start on the days tasks. 

Me? Nope.

Instead I find myself browsing through amazon and ebay, plus some local sales sites here in Sydney. 

What am I in search of?

Dick Squishies.

Yep, you read that correctly. I said Dick Squishies. 

Why? Well because I saw them, one time, on some youtube post that I forgot the name of, and also couldn’t remember what they were actually called.

Well I found them, and will share them with you so you can have a laugh as well.

But on my journey in search of silicone stress relief in the form of tiny genitals, I stumbled across many other interesting and funny toys/novelties that gave me the idea of writing an article about the experience.

Here is a quick list for those that don’t want to read about it, but still want to see what I found.

FIND THEM ALL HERE

Now that I had found my ‘dick squishies’ (I never get sick of typing that), it was time to see what else I could find.

For starters, I decided to avoid going straight to amazon or ebay as I figured a broad search might return the best results. So I hopped over to Google.

My first search went about as well as you would expect with a phrase like ‘amazing adult toys’ which returned a whopping 152million results, a bunch of XXX store locations and some images of products that I sure as hell was not looking for, even though my initial journey had started with a search for ‘dick squishies’.

I tried a few more obscure search terms and came across some lesser known sites that offered hilarious and awesome toys and gadgets. I have added some links for you to check them out, not so much for monetizing our site, but to help you get your hands on your own. I couldn’t get my wallet out fast enough, don’t tell my wife.

Fatbrain toys provided a category devoted to toys for adults which is where I found the first few toys/products on the above list.

LOSE BELLY FAT FAST!

BrainFood Slime – which instantly takes me back to my childhood, remembering the hours spent making fart noises by pushing Gak into its weird shaped container, or frantically trying to clean slime out of the carpet before my Mother found it, a right of passage for all children growing up in the 80s and 90s.
Now, as an adult, I find it increasingly hard to switch off the old thinker upstairs and just relax so having something to play with and keep my hands busy is often needed. I would prefer this over a fidget spinner any day of the week.

Chaos machine – now this one was cool. While it may not have sparked any nostalgia due to not being a staple toy from my childhood, it sure peaked my interest when I came across this one. Accompanied on Fatbrain by a video, which I will add to this article for reference; I was captivated by the way this thing moves.
The name Chaos Machine is perfectly suitable, because this thing is nuts.
A nice variation to the perpetual motion desktop decorations like Newton’s cradle or those floating Magnetic levitation devices, but with one major difference: They are completely unpredictable, as the name suggests, chaotic in nature.
I was amazed at how the self assembly allowed for experimentation, meaning the machine would behave very differently each time it was put together using a different configuration.
Perhaps more of a decoration than a toy, but due to the amount of enjoyment it brought me I have added it to my list of Best LOL Toys.



Go Bright Bike Lights immediately reminded me of Spokie Dokes. Not because they are noisy, annoyingly loud and a pain in the butt to install, but simply because of how much I wanted them on my bike.
I could picture it in my mind immediately, flying down a dimly lit Steet, looking like I rode straight out of Tron. While not practical during the sunnier days, it certainly would make me want to get on my bike more in the evening.
Plus I will note that Go Bright lights come in multiple colors, plus a rainbow option.
This would have been huge if it existed during my childhood, and I definitely would have collected all the colors and swapped them out regularly, perhaps it will become popular with the current generation. I doubt it though, because unfortunately the younger generations seem to be robbed of the basic desire myself and my peers possessed, to spend time outside with their friends and be active.
You don’t see kids playing in the street anymore, either the parents are too concerned about their child getting injured, or the kid owns a damn phone and as a result is too busy to give a shit about what is going on around them. Yes I am generalising I know, but as this trend grows more each year, we are probably not far away from ‘kids owning bikes’ is a forgotten social expectation. These days it is more likely that you will find more than one Apple or Samsung device in their possession than a bicycle. Sad but true and maybe it’s a sign of the times and a reason to adjust, or, I can choose to dig my heals in and drag these kids back into the world to have some ‘old fashioned’ fun.

Strap in, this next one is a winner, I am planning on writing a separate article devoted entirely to the Flux Feel, because it is just that bloody cool.
Firstly, it’s called Flux Feel, which immediately sounds very sci fi.
And Sci Fi it certainly is.

Feel Flux – In a nutshell, it is a mini science experiment that demonstrates the effects of magnetism within a precision instrument. It looks like an illusion, when it is really happening in front of your eyes, check out the video below to see just how amazing this thing is. I was astounded, and I know it would be the sort of thing I would never cease to enjoy. 

The ability to take it almost anywhere and impress people, the mere fact it contains only 2 pieces with zero assembly, the awesome yet simple design; all point towards a fantastic Toy that anyone would get a LOT of enjoyment out of. Check it out!

Tetris Stackable LED Lamp – Now this one is another decorative feature, however it can be played with. 

Our classic game of Tetris has moved into our living or bedroom, it looks amazing, and is a fantastic and unique lamp design. Imagine the possibilities!

I don’t think I need to say much more than that on this one, have a look for yourself.

Magnetic Putty – Want to give a type-A adult a more creative spot for thumbtacks or paperclips? The iron-based particles in this non-toxic putty can be charged up with magnetic powers to attract all sorts of small objects. Left to its own devices, the putty can even swallow an entire magnet.

A lot of fun to play with and has a bunch of handy uses as well. You have probably seen it floating around online, but at $14 for a 4 pack of them it is definitely worth grabbing and having some fun.

Capture the flag – REDUX – This high-tech reboot of Capture the Flag is guaranteed fun for any age. Instead of flags, chase glowing orbs after the sun goes down. Colored markers let players mark playing territory and jails for members of the opposing team, while glow bracelets make it easy to figure out who’s who.

I can remember playing capture the flag as a child, using a t-shirt or towel as a flag and having hours of fun, if we had this back then we could have played after dark as well. What an awesome take on a classic game.

Oculus Rift Touch VR – Virtual reality offers new thrills for even the hard-to-impress gamer, and the Oculus Rift+ Touch hand controllers makes it easy to interact with a virtual world. Six games are included with the system, which requires a newer Windows PC with an updated operating system to run.

Now I was a bit of a slow starter when it comes to VR, starting with the simple headset for a smartphone, I have since upgraded to a PS4 VR, however the Oculus Rift looks amazing for one simple difference: the Touch Controllers. WOW, incredible.

So basically you can use your hands to pick up or interact with objects in your virtual surroundings making this the MOST realistic VR created for the average consumer. I have trialed other VR systems and this one is by far the most fun so far.

PowerUp 3.0 remote control Airplane Kit – Another one that doesn’t require much explaining. A remote control kit that you can attach to a regular paper airplane and control via a smartphone. So not only is it a neat little toy, but you can experiment with different styles of aircraft to fly.

The Kit costs less than the average small model plane and will give you a lot more enjoyment.

I will stop there……For now.

What started as a simple search for some squishy penises, ended in an awesome list of unusual items that will entertain anyone with a, hmm, ‘mature’ nature. It was fun to filter through the dirty items that were returned by my search, and my browser history probably looks a bit worse for wear, but worth it!

While there were many other toys that could have made the list, these were the ones that I found to be the most interesting, or looked to offer the most enjoyment. I will be writing more reviews on Toys for big kids and interesting gadgets, because honestly this article was a lot of fun to write. I cannot wait to play with some of the products I reviewed today and will be adding them to the list of great gift ideas.

If you think I missed something out there that would blow everyone away, feel free to get in touch.

Full disclosure: The links to products reviewed by the_real4d are affiliated with Amazon, therefore if you choose to purchase via the links featured in this article, a commission would be paid to us, which helps to keep us motivated to keep writing =) and does not affect the price on the purchaser’s end.

“Most toy stores and manufacturers focus on games and toys for toddlers, kids and teens. But at Fat Brain Toys, we’ve made it a goal to seek out unique toys that are designed with adults in mind. You’ll love looking through our collection to find something that makes you instantly excited to play. From desk toys that perk up everyday office life to cool electronic devices to fun games you can enjoy with a group, there are so many great toys for grownups on our site. And because we’ve put them all in this convenient collection, it’s easier than ever to find fun toys for adults.”

snippet from fatbraintoys

Fat Toy Brains was one of the more obscure sites I checked out during my ‘investigating’

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